Tuesday 21 October 2014

A Way Out from Helplessness.





I am quite depressed after receiving a call from my friend who was upset because of few family issues. I am still shaking my head to keep myself away from echoes of the words, questions, feelings and emotions that she expressed. I am writing down her concerns, problems and trying to figure out some solution. I was so sad to hear all that and I do not know how I overcame my emotions and managed to say few relaxing sentences. I was unable to control my trembling voice and shaky emotions. I was feeling I will burst into tears and leave her in critical situation. So here I am sitting at 3:00 a.m. and recollecting her harsh experience.

Her questions, “Why sometimes we become so helpless in our lives? Why we are not left with any way out? Why people feel it as their birth right to interfere in our lives and try to dictate as if they are in charge of our lives and better understand it than us? Why , Why ???? “ are still ringing in my mind. 

Sometimes in our lives, there comes a time when we want to get rid of everything, leave world and go to jungle, run away from all the joys and comforts, friends, family and everything that we long for. Nothing seems to help or relax us. Granting forgiveness seems hardest of all. Our mind seems full of hate towards those who had hurt us. We feel broken, hollow, hurt from inside with a deep hole in our soul. Our heart seems bleeding and fallen deep in dark shadows. During such crucial time nothing seems working to fill the hole; no friend, no chat, no laugh, no joke. Got the picture from Facebook. 

We carry grudges in our hearts. The quietness within seems killing us. There seems no light, no hope, no love, no peace, no way out….. BUT….. a dark, dark night. We try to look for the ways to get a moment of peace and to forget the pain. We cannot get rid of screams of our past harsh memories. We wish to destroy all, to fix our pain. 

We are filled with grief , darkness, hate, rage and revenge. 

A rebel is going inside us all the time to finish others or to vanish our self to be contented. We feel these are only left options with us. Its like just killing and mutilating our body, mind and soul. We think our bodies are lifeless

The pain, that we gain from; resistance, unacceptance, failure and anger seems never ending.

Do you have any way to get rid of this pain of loss, tearful eyes, broken believes, aching bones and soul ?

We want to remove the stab from our heart that is hurting us. We seem just stuck and shocked. We do not want to see our dreams shattering right in front of our eyes, we get ready to do everything in our power to protect them. We look for help and guidance in each direction with a continuous desire for some ease. We want to end violent aggression going on inside us. We wait for MIRACLE!

Many choose drugs, alcohol, develop strange habits to get some moments of satisfaction when their heart breaks. Some jump to conclusion of taking their lives- by committing a suicide. 

Only one solution comes to my mind to overcome such situation.

I feel this is the time for us to turn to our God , our Creator, the most Merciful and Powerful. He is the one who can ease us, comfort us, help and guide us. He knows our pain and without telling He knows that all, we need to turn to Him, this is all that can bring a beam of light in our dark night. To help us grow against all odds and evils. He can teach us how to forgive and move on. He is the only one who can bring Peace to our hearts and souls. A bow down in front of Him can save us from many downs. 

I believe , our belief on God can remove the darkness and shadows inside the heart. It can brighten your ways. 

We need to overcome the threats from others and began to hope. Our hope can be our shield in this time of despair. To get rid of such panic condition try to appreciate good things in life. All anger will change in softness and love. 

God is only one who can give us motivation and inspiration. 
We always come across ‘ pain changes people’ , but I believe, “ Prayer changes people”.
Pain should bring better changes in life as we all believe, “ no pain, no Gain.”


I believe in such situations you should not give up hope, it is something that will keep you 
moving. Try to think about the causes of this hate and anger and try to overcome it. Hope is key to success and happiness. It will bring you out of depression and misery. Everything will be fine at end, after every dark night there is a bright sunny day. 

Darkness can not be removed with darkness and hate can not be removed with hate but
only with light and love. 
Got this picture from Facebook.


I have written about some causes of depression, anxiety and few solutions here.
I will be happy to hear your thoughts. I hope you will share with me how you overcome such situation in your life. Do you have any other way out of such situation???? 

Sharing is caring :)

45 comments:

  1. Whatever you wrote is quite true Andleeb! However strong a person tries to remain, sometimes life tosses us around like a boat caught in a storm. After losing everything, the spiritual eyes open and we turn to God, and only in such moments there is total submission to Allah without any ego.
    When pain is too much, prayer gives strength and clarity and light for the way. As you mentioned in your other post, friends, positive attitude & activities, etc will help in the next stage to overcome the pain and get back to normal life slowly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

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    1. Thank you so much Aadila for your time.
      I believe that coming back to normal from depression takes some time, first you have to pray and talk to Creator and then gradually your family and friends can help you get back to Life to happiness. It truly takes time but it is not possible that same feeling or depression remain always. We must think positively and should not lose hope and must keep moving...
      Thank you.

      Delete
  2. hi andleeb; thanks for sharing what obviously is a very painful time in your friend or family member's life. it is good that you encourage people to pray. prayer and meditation are very good during these hard times. I notice you also sent a message of hope. Hope is also great medicine. only thing is i want people to know they have the power to choose to see the good in life. You mentioned the sunshine after a dark night. well i've known people who saw the sunshine and instead noticed the clouds. some days being positive and having hope takes effort. you have to know the signs are there and then look for them knowing you will find them. and good friends like you are also great in hard times. thanks for sharing, max

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    1. Hello Max

      This was all I could say to her that keep praying and I will also pray for you and do not lose hope.
      You are right that many people do not notice the blessings and close their eyes and hearts when light comes to them.
      Life is full of many such situations and we must learn to get out of that as soon as possible.

      Thank you for your comment and time I really appreciate that.

      Delete
  3. Life is up and down. It's normal. Whenever something happens that is negative, one way or another, you have to think it through and then take action. To hate and want revenge is a very primitive respons. By the way, you don't need to take revenge because the universe takes care of that. Call it karma if you wish.

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    1. Hello Catarina
      You are right. If we will do bad with someone today , truly we will be in worst condition tomorrow. For sure we have to pay for our every action and word. Good and Bad both return.
      In such situations I just , let go and pray from God to give me strength to forgive. I hope my friend will return to her normal life soon.
      Thank you for your comment I really appreciate that.

      Delete
  4. Hi Anna,

    Again a very good post.in my views our life has different phase it keeps changing like seasons, day & night. Yes agree in situation we feel standing beside the wall & left with no option just to accept willingly or unwillingly. Such conditions make us realize how helpless we are, wantedly or unwantdly we have left with only just two option weep & clean tears. Such situations make us realize how unwanted we are for this world. May be you will be agree with me or not this is not the right approach to solve the things. Such feeling makes us weaker or cause of depression. Second option is recollecting our self & analyzes the situation. how to over the situation.
    Fact is human are strings with relations & we cannot run away from them. Relations are very important role in our life either we suffer or have joy due to these relation we have to live with them.
    Yes prayers are having great effect in our life, we need to pray in all situation

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    1. Thank you Maryam
      I really appreciate your time and comment. You are right that prayers do have great impact on our lives and its worth to ask God for His guidance and help.
      Regards

      Delete
  5. How awful for your friend Anna. And now you are taking on those feelings. I have all kinds of tools that I access when I get into a state of fear, which is what your friend is in. Some have mentioned some things which I use, prayer and meditation being at the top. I change my environment - for prayer I often head out to a church. It just FEELS better. I also use releasing techniques like EFT (emotional freedom technique), The Sedona Method, and more. What I keep on the top of my mind is, "This too shall pass."

    Positive energy to your friend and you.

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    1. Thank you Patricia
      Yes prayer is above all for me and I also told her to do so , but as you said about change in environment , it can be a great idea too.
      I hope she will come to normal life soon.
      Thank you so much for your time and comment.

      Delete
  6. There is a song that Frankie Laine sang in the '70s called I believe. A part of it went 'I believe that even in the darkest night, a candle glows'. Light after darkness - it does come, you just have to pray for it and believe it. I hope your friend finds what she needs.

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    1. I believe for every drop of rain that falls
      A flower grows
      I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
      A candle glows
      I believe for everyone who goes astray
      Someone will come to show the way
      I believe
      I believe

      I believe above the storm the smallest prayer
      Will still be heard
      I believe that someone in the great somewhere
      Hears every word
      Every time I hear a newborn baby cry
      Or touch a leaf
      Or see the sky
      Then I know why I believe

      Every time I hear a newborn baby cry
      Or touch a leaf
      Or see the sky
      Then I know why I believe
      (Why I believe)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rf0l9YnQN4

      Thanks Lenie :)

      -Judith

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    2. Hello Lenie

      You are right a candle glows even in darkest night. After every night there is a sunny day. I hope things will get better for my friend and I hope she will be reading all these tips to come out of depression. Thank you for the song , it is really beautiful.
      Thank you

      Delete
  7. Anna, you are so filled with empathy. Your friend is lucky to have you...this will help, I think. Just having someone to talk to. And I have often used meditation to get through thoise moments. Some things we just can't control...we just have to wade through the much and trust there are better times ahead.

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    1. Hello Jacquie

      Yes many are mentioning about mediation, I feel it is great idea... Oh , I hope that my support can help her go through this all. All I want her to be happy again. I really like her and wish best for her , she is such a nice and caring women.

      Thank you for your time and comment.

      Delete
  8. I hope your support and being there for your friend provides her some comfort. I hope things get better for her. I love the quote by Martin Luther King Jr.

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    1. Hello Donna

      I hope my support is enough , but I believe all of you are with her now and telling her a way to come out of this despair. Thank you for your comment

      Delete
  9. Heartfelt blessings to both you and your friend, Andeeb! I have certainly been in this dark place before and can only say, the time to connect with God, the higher power, the universe, is everyday, not only when things seem overwhelming. I say this because with a daily connection, it is less unlikely to lose your grounded perceptive on more challenging days. The first lines of my book, From Confusion To Clarity are: "Do you ever feel like you need to stand on your head just to make life work?" There is always something we are being called to remember when we have experiences that we feel are bigger than we are. Indeed, poison and medicine are two sides of the same coin. I am holding both you and Anna in my heart and in my prayers.

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    1. Hello Michele

      I am happy that you are strong enough to overcome that situation, it is best to ask God's help. I hope she will be back to life soon and I really love the line of your book.

      I am thankful for your support and comment.

      Delete
  10. Emotions are a very hard thing. Sometimes there is no middle ground. I'm still learning how to deal with them myself. It is easy to have them in check with life is going well but when things are happening to you or around you it makes you not know how to feel.

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    1. Hello

      You are right we have to learn and I feel sad as if we learn to get out of one problem a new problem is waiting there for Us. Life is full of ups and downs and we have to fight throughout.

      Delete
  11. 2 weeks ago I listened to someone being interviewed on radio talking about the link between pain and passion. He said that everyone who has passion for a cause has come from a point of pain. Even if you look at Martin Luther King you quoted, his passion for Human rights came from pain endured by people affected by the lack of the rights he advocated for. Some women have been raped and then become passionate about changing the lives of other women who have been raped. From pain arises passion which changes lives. Let your pain and that of your friend, turn to passion to help others around you.

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    1. Hello Welli

      It is a great advice. You are right in saying that. Passion really comes from pain and passion can really change the world not for us but also for others.
      I really appreciate your time and comment

      Delete
  12. B brave,... Stay firm..,,, and never lose hope.... Especially from ALLAH almighty .... HE is the one who decides best for us all and never lets us down

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    1. Hello Siraj
      You are right God is the one who can bring us back from despair and hopelessness.
      Thank you for your comment

      Delete
  13. I sometimes think it is harder when it is a friend or family member going through difficult times than when it's you. You were there for her when she needed you. That's important. You probably know through personal experience that when you go through hard times you do become stronger. Just continue being her friend - and pray for her. She's lucky to have you

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    1. Hello Pat
      Thank you. You are right the facing such problem actually makes one strong and it is hard if some friend or family member goes through some bad times.
      thank you for your time and comment

      Delete
  14. Being in those slumps in life is never anywhere anyone ever wants to be. Your friend is fortunate though to have your ear and your heart. It is the support of friends that get most of us through these periods. I hope everything works out and that a light shines soon.

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    1. Thank you Tim. I too, hope so.
      I strongly believe there is a day after every dark night but hope that this night become short.

      Thank you for your time.

      Delete
  15. I love this post. There are a lot of ups and downs in life. We don't have to lose hope.

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    1. You are right Butler, losing hope is like losing Life.

      Delete
  16. You are so right, forgiveness is something that doesn't come naturally to us. But with God all things are possible. He is the only one with the power to change people. I'm glad your friend has you to listen to her and help her. You are acting out the concept that love overcomes hate.

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    1. Hello Meredith
      You are right, only God knows how to fix everything and if He gives us some hard time it is just a test from Him, He wants to check if we are capable of handling something extraordinary.
      Thank you for your time.

      Delete
  17. Yes hanging on to all those negative feelings can cause health problems. God, Grace and Forgiveness are the best medicine. In spite of all the bad things that have happened and can happen, I still believe that blessings come from the pain. Another courageous and heartfelt post from you.

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    1. You are right Angela that blessings come from Pain.

      After every dark night there is a sunny day.

      Thank you for your time.

      Delete
  18. Hopelessness is an obstacle meant to steer your friend off-course. It is hard to bear. Believe that when no human can help, Christ Jesus (and our Heavenly Father) are there for her. He runs the entire scenario and is always available to make a way when none exists.

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    1. Hello Deidre

      When no one can helps then surly there is one God who can help and who listens and understands what we feel and He can fix it too.

      I appreciate your time.

      Delete
  19. So many times we have felt desperate and hopeless. I hate to admit, that during the most troubling time in my life, I contemplated on ending my own life. But then I felt that God made me realize that if I did that, what would happen to the three little souls He has entrusted me to care for? I hang on to my faith and picked myself up. It was not a easy task but with God, I pulled through, and I am continuing to stay afloat in my journey through life with the help of the Almighty God. Your friend is lucky to have you, Andleeb. Please continue to support her through this time. You are a blessing.

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    1. Hello Eileen
      I am happy to hear that you pulled through hard time with the help , blessing and guidance of God.

      You are a strong women and may God bless you and little angels.

      All the best and thank you.

      Delete
  20. There are times when life seems so bleak, as when you lose a loved one. My wonderful husband died just when another calamity was happening in my life. It was the worst period of my life, But I gained strength from my family and friends and yes, the holy spirit. I feel my husband is still with me in spirit and feel his presence whenever I'm down as a reminder of the many happy years we had together.

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    1. Hello Jeannette

      You are a brave and strong women. You are right our loved ones do not leave us alone in this world but they are around us all the time, only difference is , we can not see them but they can. All we can do is to feel them and this gives a lot of support and courage.
      All I can say you , stand strong and may God bless you with more success.
      Thank you

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  21. So sad to read the post .Your friend must be a brave girl, May ALLAH give happiness, peace and prosperity in her life

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    1. Thank you Fouzia

      I really appreciate your prayer and support

      Delete
  22. Only way out of helplessness is love , respect and in search of Allah the Almighty

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  23. Nvr lose hope bcz Allah z always there.....at the moment we dnt understand bt there z always smthng btr for us in evry situation n whn u get rid ov al this panic situation u will realize one day tht evrythng happens for good....all z well inshAllah

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